2020 Facilities Calendar

By Joel Elsea posted 01-22-2020 16:48

  

So here we are, 2020. Whether we want to be or not. A new year. A new decade. And more than likely, some of the same beautiful facility related issues we faced in 2019. So, for all you beginner FMs that might be new to this game, I’ve (very thoughtfully) put together a calendar for you to copy to help eliminate any surprises this year. Hopefully this calendar will help keep you off the HR radar and away from the liquor cabinet for more than a few hours. Here goes nothing….

 

January:

The month of resolutions and goals for the year. Yep, they should’ve been done two months ago but you were so busy cancelling painting jobs and janitorial services to make budget that your preplanning for 2020 went down the toilet faster than the 11 mice and one snake you caught in accounting department. So start them in February…that’s still better than 50% of the FMs out there!

February:

Replenish the Advil supply in your top right desk drawer due to all of the snow and ice invoice review that you’ll be doing. It’s probably all gone because of the celebrating you did on New Year’s Eve. You’re going to need it. Especially if you have stores in Canada…eh? You feel the urge to swear out loud at Mother Nature so make sure that your white noise generators have been adequately turned up on Feb. 1 before you start receiving those January invoices!

March:

We’re really not thinking about facilities this month. What we’re really thinking about it St. Patrick’s Day celebrations and NCAA Basketball action. Including how much you’re going to make in the company pool this month and how you’re hoping you don’t have a toilet backup or vehicle in a store lobby on the Thursday afternoon of the first round!

April:

Schedule the party…for not having to call the snow removal service providers again…until October anyway. Make travel arrangements for the Connex Conference. You’re going to need all the facility related resources and professional career advice and counseling you can find to make it through the next 8 months!

May:

Make sure your cell phone bill is paid up because you’re going to need it for calling all the lawn care companies that need to come out and address broken sprinkler heads, backflow preventers and bed maintenance. You’ll be thinking the white stuff isn’t so bad by the end of May. Unless you work for Medmen, then grass isn’t necessarily a bad thing?

June:

Turn in goals and objectives for 2020. Yeah, you sort of forgot to do those in January because of all the fires, heating and cooling issues (oh snap, I forgot having all the HVAC units switched to Summer settings! No wonder ladies in accounting aren’t talking to me?) plumbing back-ups and cubicle reconfigurations. At least you have six months left to make them happen right?

July:

Budget and goal review. Review the goals turned in three weeks ago and you’ve already lost under the stack of lawncare invoices and contracts. Budget review: I have a budget? Can someone show me a picture? Is there any money in it for a beer dispenser in my office?

August:

Locate your Kevlar vest and riot gear. When the HVAC system starts shutting down in the Marketing and IT Department you’re going to need that stuff. You’ll also want a disguise you can wear walking to your car so people don’t recognize you for an hour long conversion about the temperature settings in the building.

September:

This is donut month. Everyone loves donuts. In facilities you need a screwdriver, wrench and donuts. Make sure donuts are distributed EQUALLY to those departments that will be receiving quality surveys about the Facilities Department that will be used in your year end review. More advice…chocolate donuts historically equate to better reviews…just sayin.

October:

Contract review time. Namely the one with your shrink. You’ve gotten through 9 months and they’ve paid the price hearing about sewer issues, smells you can’t track down and who’s stealing Bertha’s candy off her desk at night. Make sure there’s not an early termination clause or a rate increase lurking in that bad boy somewhere!

November:

Turkey day. Treats galore. Stuff being brought into the office partially cooked. Make sure that the plumber is fully staffed and have at least two back-ups in place in case you have a back-up. Also prepare for the meeting request from the auditors. They’ll have questions about the donuts. How many, who had access, what flavor and how come there’s a chocolate long john unaccounted for!

December:

We can’t even call this a month. It’s more like a week. And you better have everything done the first week because nobody in Accounting, IT or Marketing is going to want to talk to you about anything except the thermostats.

There! You’re all set! 2020 is done! Don’t lose this under that pile of proposals, invoices and contracts on your desk!

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29 days ago

My fav! Hahaha

February:

Replenish the Advil supply in your top right desk drawer due to all of the snow and ice invoice review that you’ll be doing. It’s probably all gone because of the celebrating you did on New Year’s Eve. You’re going to need it. Especially if you have stores in Canada…eh? You feel the urge to swear out loud at Mother Nature so make sure that your white noise generators have been adequately turned up on Feb. 1 before you start receiving those January invoices!

30 days ago

@Joel Elsea LOL this is great!! The struggle is real. But we all love it!! (insert shrug emoji here lol)​​​